September 2011
4 posts
3 tags
As Clean As A Whistle...
At what point did whistles become the benchmark for pristine cleanliness? What person looked at a whistle, then looked at everything else he owned and deduced that the whistle contained far less bacteria than, say, his toilet seat? Surely the whistle would have been saturated with saliva bacteria and a whole host of germs. This simile has been around for ages, possibly since long before the...
4 tags
World’s Largest Sperm Bank No Longer Accepting...
I wrote this one on September 19th, so it’s only a few days old. It’s my best performing article from the past couple of months, judging by the number of Facebook Likes it’s received. (Exactly 400 at this moment).
In this one I make fun of redheads in the least scientifically sound way possible.
World’s Largest Sperm Bank No Longer Accepting Sperm From Redheads; No One Wants...
3 tags
The Very Best of Islamic Fundamentalist Erotica,...
If this Tumblr page exists mostly to showcase what I think is some of my best writing, then I don’t know why I haven’t posted this one sooner. This should have been a day-one post. The Very Best of Islamic Fundamentalist Erotica, Vol. 1 is a strange idea, and probably a highly offensive one, but, damn it, I love it.
At some point I’m going to post another original article,...
3 tags
Penthouse Letters That Didn’t Make The Cut
This a lost Holy Taco article. When we switched over to Wordpress a few of my articles got lost in the process, never to be seen again. The other few that got lost weren’t great, so I’m not concerned about them. This one, though, I’m a fan of. Luckily for me, I keep a majority of the articles I write. At least the ones I think are good. And I do it just in case I encounter a...
