January 2012
7 posts
3 tags
On The Subjects Of Porn, Male Sexual Urges, and...
Here’s a thing I totally wasn’t planning on posting on Holy Taco. I originally planned to post this here, on my Tumblr, becasue it’s a little more…uh…I don’t know…personal? Maybe that’s the word I’m looking for.
It’s not actually personal, but it feels more personal than the things I typically post on HT. It’s more like a bit I...
3 tags
Q Is The Worst Letter
When elongated, Q is a Queue, which is a line, and nobody likes waiting in lines. Lines are awful. Therefore, when we reverse engineer the word line, we reach Queue, which is just the longer version of Q, which is a shitty letter.
Besides, what letter looks like it’s gingerly placing a penis in to its mouth?
Q, that’s who. Only Q.
My logic is sound, meaning that it is something you just heard.
4 tags
Why Jessica Biel Should Be Engaged To Me, And Not...
This one makes me laugh. HARD. Not that hard. Not Caps Lock hard. But a nice, mild kind of hard, which is almost not even the definition of hard. I guess this one just makes me laugh, with a non-specific level of laugh firmness. Like, if this article were a Sleep Number bed, the laugh level would be like a 7 or 8, which I just realized is a very specific level of laugh firmness.
Of course, you...
5 tags
“Nah-uh, because the mouse would have been melted...
Wanna know what I’m really good at? I’m really good at not being good at writing short, concise, snappy titles. I’m so not good at it that it’s something I excel at.
I like this one. It’s just me calling a major corporate entity an asshole. It’s fun.
“Nah-uh, because the mouse would have been melted in the Mountain Dew!” Is The Worst Legal Argument Ever...
3 tags
New Conspiracy Theory Suggests Barack Obama Was A...
I don’t know if this one is funny because of my write-up, or if it’s the subject of the article that’s funny. Probably the latter.
Either way, it’s entertaining.
New Conspiracy Theory Suggests Barack Obama Was A Time and Space Traveling Explorer Of Mars – No, Seriously.
3 tags
My First Trip To Costco: Diary of An Overwhelmed...
This is based on a true story. I had never been to a Costco until last week. In fact, it was a week ago today. It was…interesting.
My First Trip To Costco: Diary of An Overwhelmed Holiday Shopper
2 tags
Luis Prada’s 10 Best Articles of 2011...from Holy...
Hey! This is my best HT stuff from 2011! I mentioned that because I assume you’re dumb and didn’t read the headline!
I was genuinely shocked to find that I had written 300-something articles for HT this past year, and even more shocked to discover that about 50 of them weren’t a total embarassment! Yay, for not being a complete failure!
I whittled that list of 50-ish down to...
