February 2012
6 posts
3 tags
Why Is There A Leap Day?
Read this article that I wrote, in which I drop some knowledge on your ass, leap day-style.
Why Is There A Leap Day?
4 tags
My Reaction To The New Paris Hilton Song, Or...
Hey! Check this out! It’s another thing that I wrote with my brain and hands! That’s two things that I wrote in two days in a row. Two things in a row officially qualifies me to consider myself a “writing machine”, much in the same way that cleaning the loose kitty litter on the floor makes me a “slave to these fucking cats.”
My Reaction To The New Paris...
4 tags
Rick Santorum, Let’s Talk About This Picture
This is another thing I wrote. It’s kind of a spiritual sequel to this article, which is fun, because I’ve always wanted to be the asshole that says something is a “spiritual sequel.”
Rick Santorum, Let’s Talk About This Picture
4 tags
Taste Testing Military-Grade MREs
This is a thing I wrote. It’s about military MREs, or “Meal, Ready To Eat.” It’s the stuff our soldiers eat on the battlefield. But not while in battle. That would be really stupid of them. Besides, who would want to be shot at and be eating an atrocious omelet at the same time? That would be like being in Hell and putting in a request to take a peek over the fence to...
5 tags
Holy Taco Predicts The Winner Of The Super Bowl
I got paid to write this. It almost isn’t fair.
Read it. I had too much fun writing it.
Holy Taco Predicts The Winner Of The Super Bowl
6 tags
Contact Me!
I’m a pretty big deal here on the internet. As such, I understand that many of you would like to get to know me better over some light phone sex and sexting. Or maybe you want to give me a writing job. Whatever. Contacting someone can be scary in this brave new world of ours, what with so many people walking around, all with their own unique communications preferences. Luckily for you, the person...
