September 20, 2011
The Very Best of Islamic Fundamentalist Erotica, Vol. 1: Ankles of Desire

If this Tumblr page exists mostly to showcase what I think is some of my best writing, then I don’t know why I haven’t posted this one sooner. This should have been a day-one post. The Very Best of Islamic Fundamentalist Erotica, Vol. 1 is a strange idea, and probably a highly offensive one, but, damn it, I love it.

At some point I’m going to post another original article, meaning one that I’ll only post here on the Tumblr and nowhere else. When? When I stop being lazy and copy and paste the one I’ve already written. That’s right; I’m too lazy to copy and paste the new thing, but I have plenty of energy to copy and paste this semi-old thing. We humans are strange and inconsistent.

And lastly, one day in the future I will make a master list of all my best FunnyCrave stuff, like I did with my Holy Taco stuff. That will be an even longer task to complete, but it should be easier now that we have writer profiles.

Again, you didn’t need to know any of this. At all. I really have to stop myself from writing these long-ass intros.

Anyway, here’s a small sampling of The Very Best of Islamic Fundamentalist Erotica, Vol. 1: “Ankles of Desire” If you want more, read the whole thing here.

Ankles of Desire

Abdullah wandered in to a small Islamabad café to escape the blistering Arabian sun. He ordered a tea, but only so he wouldn’t get kicked out for loitering. Besides, his sheep’s bladder held more than enough water to keep his thirst quenched for the rest of the day.

He sat, occasionally wiping the sweat from his brow, and taking deep breaths, as if he were trying to release the heat from his lungs like a steam valve. It was hot. Steamy. Valve-y.

Off in the periphery of his vision was a black figure. He turned to get a better look. Standing at a market was a vision of burka-clad desire. This vision was a woman, and she stood at a street vendor’s shop covered head to toe in her oppressive garb, leaving only her dark, sultry eyes exposed to the world.

  1. luisprada posted this