January 10, 2012
Why Jessica Biel Should Be Engaged To Me, And Not Justin Timberlake

This one makes me laugh. HARD. Not that hard. Not Caps Lock hard. But a nice, mild kind of hard, which is almost not even the definition of hard. I guess this one just makes me laugh, with a non-specific level of laugh firmness. Like, if this article were a Sleep Number bed, the laugh level would be like a 7 or 8, which I just realized is a very specific level of laugh firmness.

Of course, you wouldn’t be able to tell, due to the lack of Facebook Likes and comments. This one just kind of came and went for most people. Probably because most people are stupid. That’s right, I’m assuming most people are stupid simply because they didn’t read or didn’t like something I wrote! I reserve the right to be that asshole, seeing as I am an artist. Artists get special privileges, like the right to be a conceded prick and get away with it within our social circles.

Anyway, here’s an article about how I want to have sex with Jessica Biel. I don’t know why no one wanted to read it….

Why Jessica Biel Should Be Engaged To Me, And Not Justin Timberlake

  1. luisprada posted this